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Saturday, 24 January 2015

An Open Letter To My Future Wife


Hello, my future wife.
Whether you are reading this before you meet me, or stumble upon it after, I want you to know a few things.
The reason I am writing this today is because I can’t stop thinking about you, and I can’t stop myself from imagining how happy we will be. Let this letter be a promise to you that I will do my best to be the man I want to be for you.
I may not yet know all of the difficulties that come with a lifetime commitment, but I have enough relationship experience to know what I want and how I picture my life with the person I will commit to: you.
Those around me are a continuous source of education and inspiration on how I want our relationship to be. So here and today, I vow to try my best to do the following:

Friday, 16 January 2015

AUNTY, BET WHY?

Article written by blog visitor .Its hilarious!That’s how I was in my room back in University one hot afternoon, lying on my back on the floor and wondering for the umpteenth time why I allowed my parents ‘maga’ me into going to school when I really wanted to be a footballer and earn my fame and fortune in the round leather game. Instead of lying morosely in this tiny-arse room thinking about my life, I woulda been chilling with phonee-speaking aunties in some exotic European city and living the life… I hissed in self-pity and rolled over to a pile of my dirty laundry and started searching the pockets of the clothes looking for any stray change I could use to buy lunch, no matter how meager.Nigga searched the clothes two times without luck. Modafoka clothes, no surprise stash when you really need it. I should burn the lot of you for disloyalty and lack of financial management skills. I eyed my two roommates who were sprawled across the room. Niggas were even broker than me so there was no hope there. Our footstuff had finished at the time, and we had only some sonofabeech ijebu garri without sugar to drink it. To make matters even worse, modafoka NEPA had taken ‘their’ light so someone couldn’t even play video game or watch a movie to console himself.Suddenly, my older cousin burst into the room and informed me that his mom was outside the hostel and wanted to say hi to me. Your mama ke? No be Yankee she dey, I asked myself. Yankee… Dollars… Better life for broke-arse students! Omo, see as your brother jump up wear im best cloth double quick. I couldn’t let this opportunity slip by me. My animal roomies sef got up to come and greet aunty. I come vess say if she see dem, she fit cut my ration dash dem money as per say dem be my guys. I almost yelled at them to go back, that she was my aunty not theirs. I sha boned the matter and briskly went out to meet her.She was standing beside the rental car that brought her, looking around the immediate surroundings and smiling broadly. I almost lay flat on the ground to greet her well, make she for dig hand inside purse dash me better money. As she open mouth talk, na so so phonee phonee dey commot. Ol’ boy, I too happy. Phonee = hard currency, nothing you want to say there. Anything she was saying, I was nodding my big head vigorously in agreement. ‘Nigeria is in Europe’, yes aunty! ‘There are 35 hours in a day’, yes aunty! Nigga, the hustle was real!By this time, a small crowd of hostel mates had gathered outside to see my cousin’s American mom. Modafokas were obviously expecting their own Dollars too. Nothing concern me sha, I was ‘family’ so my own share was guaranteed. That’s how aunty said she wanted to take pictures of us and the dense bush that surrounded the hostel so she could show her friends in the US how her son and his people lived and were schooling. Picture? No problem, aunty! Should we strike poses? Kneel down and raise my hands? Pretend I’m a monkey? Climb a tree and hang upside down? Anything you want, aunty just let me know and it is done damn quick. My hostel mates sef entered picture and were posing enthusiastically as she snapped away merrily. I’m sure I could hear a few stomachs growling in hunger as we posed for the picture, but I could be wrong…She finished snapping and used phonee to thank us, that she was going. Going? That’s good! Going meant it was time to dash money. That’s how aunty waved at us and entered inside the motor and was going true true. We looked at each other in amazement, like what the feck is going on here? I felt like Atiku did when Obasanjo screwed him out of the Presidential ticket in 2007. All that hard work was for naught? Modafoka!Suddenly I heard my name in a phonee accent and I subconsciously ran to the car that had moved off a bit and stopped. As I got to the owner’s corner window, she stretched out her arm and squeezed a few Naira notes in my eagerly anticipating palm with the advice that I study hard and be a good boy. As the car drove off, I looked into my palm and noticed that my blessed aunty had given me THREE MODAFOKING HUNDRED NAIRA! Three what the fack hundred Naira! Ol’ boy faint almost catch me. My roommates and some other niggas ran to me to demand their own share of the money and when they saw what was in my hand, dem sef shock. As we all stood there seized by temporary mental paralysis, someone noticed my cousin had alighted from his mom’s car and was making his way back to us. Some niggas rushed him and insisted that he settle us on behalf of his mom, and he agreed to, eventually buying like one crate of soft drinks and some bread or something retarded like that. I barely remember what I did with that fecking three hundred Naira.I haven’t greeted the woman since then…

Guest post:My God In Small Things.


These days, I find so much pleasure in the smallest things. Running by the beach and drinking in the lights from yachts, streetlights and neighboring cities. Sitting in a café and swimming in my thoughts while sipping tea. Saturday afternoons in museums. An email from a friend just to say hello and I miss you.

These small joys were the things I daydreamed about in law school. I would go to Starbucks with my huge books and stare with longing at the people who just came in to read a book, sip a latte and catch up with a friend. “Free-time” was a luxury that had to be carefully scheduled between 12-hour days and weekends spent in the library.

Wednesday, 14 January 2015

THE MANUEL RIVERA-ORITZ FOUNDATION 2015 DOCUMENTARY PHOTOGRAPHY AND FILM GRANTS. WIN $5,000

Cammile-Lepage-2014-MRO-Prize-Laureate

The Manuel Rivera-Ortiz Foundation has recently opened the 2015 call for submissions for documentary photography & film grants, inviting photographers and filmmakers in all countries to submit their best work.

Documentary photographers and filmmakers around the world are invited to submit documentary photography and film projects on the topics of human suffering and unrest, forgotten communities, exploited lands and people, on communities ravaged by war, poverty, famine, disease, and the exploitation of global resources.

Tuesday, 13 January 2015

I was offered N600,000 in exchange for my virginity



This article was culled from Naijasinglegirlblog...
I have been making most of my withdrawals across the counter since my ATM card got expired last month.
Anyway, I breezed into a random Diamond bank yesterday afternoon to withdraw money. Got the withdrawal slip and wrote out a whooping sum of two thousand, five hundred Naira. ( I had to spell it in full so the amount would seem huge)
My hands were stretched out nonchalantly to the female banker and when she raised her face to receive my slip, I recognise her as Seun, my room mate in my 200L.
‘Damn!” I cursed. Not when I am appearing this shabby.

Meet Popular Stylist Alexander Okeke .

 

Alexander Okeke is a fashion celebrity stylist,the third born of a family of seven ,he started styling recently and has worked at the Ecowas fashion week 2014,and Music Meets Runway 2014 among others.He is known for his impeccable and unique sense of style,he is quite a risk taker that is why most of his outfits always have something edgy about them.Speaking to him about his fashion sense he said ;His style is eccentric,daring,classy,and also elegance with a hint of drama just to keeps things interesting.....More pics below............

Saturday, 10 January 2015

MTN TRICKED MY BROTHER.


This Mtn people have a way of making us subscribe for one thing or the other,its either you subscribe for news tip or sports tip without giving us any reward which  is very bad and that is why late last year i migrated to Etisalat which is the best so far. Back to the tori.....
This happened three years ago,on  a fateful day when me and my siblings got back from school,changed and was about eating,then this unexpected call came in ( i said call not message cause real MTN people dey always send message) excitedly my elder brother ran to the room to take the phone and the voice we heard was that of my brother shouting "JESUS! JESUS!!JESUS!!! mummy i just won 1million naira" ,we all ran to him and asked HOW,WHY,WHEN,WHO,WHERE.

8 Annoying First Date Conversations


Getting a small group of people to agree on anything is difficult, but we’re going to try anyway. In fact, we’re going to try to build consensus among a very large group of people — the daters of the world. Because if we can spread the word, gain acceptance and put a stop to these extremely annoying first date conversations we will have done humankind a service beyond measure.
Most veteran daters could make this list on their own. Newbies will want to read on and avoid the kinds of date chatter that is common and extremely annoying. Continue below.............

Friday, 9 January 2015

Apply Now!!! TEEP to offer $100,000,000 grants to 10,000 Entrepreneurs.

Nigerian billionaire investor and philanthropist Tony Elumelu has committed $100 million to create 10,000 entrepreneurs across Africa over the next 10 years.
The Tony Elumelu Foundation Entrepreneurship Programme – TEEP – is to offer 10,000 aspiring African Entrepreneurs an opportunity to benefit from $100 million grant to create 1,000,000 jobs and contribute $10 billion in annual revenues to Africa’s economy over the next 10 years.
Interested entrepreneurs will be able to submit their applications to join the programme as from 1st January 2015 to 1st March 2015

My Experience With The Two Fat Women From Hell.

http://gowowteam.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/fat-women-mareh674-photobucket.jpg
Am so sorry to all my blog readers for not fulfilling my promise,but yay! here i am,.from now onward i pledge to blog frequently every week no matter what is may take.How was your Christmas and New year break,your family,your siblings,your husbands and wives.Hope your business is moving to its permanent site?.Well what you are about to read below is what happened to me on wednesday.Enjoy!     

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Friday, 5 September 2014

Photos: Desmond Elliot Visits Nairobi,Kenya.

Nollywood actor/producer Desmond Elliot is presently on a visit to Nairobi,Kenya where he will attend an event and also chill for a while before returning to Naija...Here are some pics he shared..........

I’ve Given The Igbo's Positions They’ve Never Had – Pres.Jonathan Says.

President Goodluck Jonathan 
President Goodluck Jonathan has applauded the attention his administration is giving the Igbo, whom he said, are well represented in his government and are being appointed to positions which no previous administrations ever gave them.
The President also said the Igbo had also benefited from many projects completed by his government in the South-East.
He said these during this year’s World Igbo Congress Day in Huston, United States of America.
The event had held on Saturday, but a copy of the President’s speech at the ceremony was only made available to journalists by the presidential spokesman, Dr. Reuben Abati, on Thursday.

FG Decides New Resumption Date For Schools.

Minister of State for Education, Mr.  Nyesom Wike 
 
The National Council on Education will today hold an emergency meeting to decide a new resumption date for schools across the country.
The Special Assistant (Media) to the Minister of State for Education, Simeon Nwakaudu, who told Punch in Abuja on the telephone on Thursday, said that a decision would be taken on the resumption date during the meeting.

The council comprises the Minister of Education, the Minister of State for Education and education commissioners of 36 states as well as the Federal Capital Territory.
Except in an emergency, it meets once in a year.
The government had, after the council meeting on August 26, postponed resumption of private and public primary as well as secondary schools to October 13, 2014, as a precautionary step against the spread of the Ebola virus.

Groom Dumps Bride At Ikoyi Registry, Disappears With Her 4million Naira.

Uzor Emmanuel, a 45-year old married man with three kids played a fast one on a 42-year old lady, Victoria Adeleye at the Ikoyi Marriage Registry Lagos state, Southwest Nigeria.
Emmanuel who had proposed to marry Adeleye at the registry dumped her at the court premises and disappeared with her N4 million. The wedding was subsequently called-off following Emmanuel’s disappearance.
Friends of the couple, who attended the wedding ceremony were left shell-shocked as marriage officials cancelled the wedding.

Thursday, 4 September 2014

Hian! Flavour Puts His Huge Bulge On Display ..

 
Mr flavour is really endowed atleast his girlfriend sandra okague has tested it.lol

Tanker crushes two army officers in Abia.

A tanker carrying diesel crushed two army officers at the Leru junction, Umunneochi council of Abia State on the Enugu-Port Harcourt Expressway on Thursday.
Reports say the deceased solders were at a road block when the tragedy occurred.
The driver of the tanker was said to have also lost his life in the auto crash as the tanker reportedly caught fire when the accident occurred.
According to an eye witness account, the tanker driver apparently lost control and the vehicle started hitting the drums used as barricade on the road and eventually plunged into the median of the highway.
The tanker was said to have burst into flames immediately burning to ashes the patrol van of the solders and another vehicle parked within the vicinity.

Ebola: 400 under surveillance in Rivers, says NCDC director

The Nigeria Centre for Disease Control Project Director, Dr. Abdulsalami Nasidi, has said that the health ministry is monitoring about 400 people in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, for signs of Ebola after they came in contact with a Port Harcourt doctor who died of the disease but hid the fact that he had been exposed.
Nasidi said this on Thursday in Geneva, saying that there is a sense of “hopelessness” due to the lack of proven drugs or vaccines to treat Ebola that has infected 18 people in the country.
In an interview with Reuters, he said that more isolation wards were being opened in the oil industry hub but voiced confidence that there would not be “many cases” there.

Chris Oyakilome Denies Adultery Accusations,Threatens To Sue Journalist..

I am so enjoying this gist!...(lol) Rev. Chris Oyakhilome, who is currently in divorce court with his estranged wife Anita Oyakhilome has denied adultery accusations and has threatened to sue journalists who publish stories about himself and his wife. In a statement released via his lawyer Mr. Kemi Pinheiro (SAN) a few hours ago, Pastor Oyakhilome said the accusations of adultery against him is ‘false and malicious’.Continue.....

BET Hip Hop Awards 2014 Nominee Full List

                 The Black Entertainment Television (BET) Hip Hop Awards nominee list was unveiled today.
Snoop Dogg who hosted last year will host the awards show again.
Drake leads this year’s nominees with eight nods. Jay Z, Pharrell and Future close up with six nods each.
Drake, Eminem, Future, Rick Ross, ScHoolboy Q and Yo Gotti will vie for the Album of the Year.
The Awards takes place on October 14th at the Atlanta Civic Center in the Atlanta, and will premiere at 8 PM.
Check out the full list of nominees after the cut.........